A letter to the stranger that email “attacked” me….

Dear “Good Times Roll,”

I would like to extend my gratitude to you for inspiring this blog.  Your unprovoked words in response to a Craigslist Ad that I placed a few days ago have reminded me how important it is to choose kindness…for that I am grateful. 

My children thank you as well.  They have never been quite so entertained as to see the myriad of emotions come across their mother’s face in such a short amount of time.

First: CONFUSION

Had I done something to offend someone? Who was this person taking stabs at me, and in turn, my “trainers?”

Confusion was followed very closely by ANGER

I will admit it, expletives that would make a trucker blush flew through my mind.

Anger was even shorter-lived than confusion and gave way to the killer emotion, the one that plagues me day in and day out: DOUBT

You might think doubt is not an emotion, but live a day in any mother’s shoes, and you will “get it.”  It’s that sick feeling that bubbles up when you wonder if you’re doing the right thing.  It’s the dread that comes over you when you compare yourself to what the other person (photographer, mom, pinterest-craft-completer) is doing.  I question my abilities as a photographer, wife, and mother every day.   I’m hard enough on myself…how dare YOU make me question myself even for a second?  Ohhh, there came ANGER again, as my daughter gave me that tilted-head-confused-puppy-look. 

At the end of the few seconds that these emotions swept over me, I suddenly felt COMPASSION

It must be a hurting person who would single out and verbally lash a relatively quiet, mind-my-own-business, live and let live person, such as myself.  My Senior Portrait ad must have struck a chord in someone who was maybe already having a rough day, week, year, life…so much so that you would feel compelled to not only write that response, but to also click send, not even knowing if the person on the other end was able to handle it.  Luckily, I am.  I beg you, though, to think before you do it again to someone else.  Words can be lethal. You don’t know if that someone is barely holding on…

At first, I felt compelled to list my credentials, training, and years of references from satisfied customers.  I didn’t.  I also thought about including those initial sailor-embarrassing words.  I didn’t.  I wanted to ask you what your credentials were to judge me.  I didn’t. Instead, I passive-aggressively thanked you for your kind words, told you that I would inform my professors of their negligence, and wished you a wonderful day.  

I regret my response now.  Even though I did not use those expletives, my sarcasm was heavy.  I wish I had apologized for offending you and asked for any constructive criticism you must have for me. I wish that I had offered an ear if you needed to get anything off your chest.  I wish that I had chosen to be a "bigger" person.  I wish I had chosen kindness.

Thank you again, for reinforcing the general idea I have that if we just choose to be kind, the world would be a much better place. Let’s stop doubting/comparing/tearing-down ourselves and one another.  Instead, offer that “I’ve been there,” glance to the mom trying to wrangle her kids into the shopping cart.  Lend a sympathetic hand to the morbidly obese man struggling to reach his groceries.  Give the gift of patience to the lone postal worker behind the counter with the mile-long line of customers waiting for them.  You have a choice. Choose kindness

Sincerely,

Jenna