Dear “Good Times Roll,”
I would like to extend my gratitude to you for inspiring
this blog. Your unprovoked words in
response to a Craigslist Ad that I placed a few days ago have reminded me how
important it is to choose kindness…for that I am grateful.
My children thank you as well. They have never been quite so entertained as
to see the myriad of emotions come across their mother’s face in such a short
amount of time.
First: CONFUSION
Had I done something to offend someone? Who was this person
taking stabs at me, and in turn, my “trainers?”
Confusion was followed very closely by ANGER
I will admit it, expletives that would make a trucker blush
flew through my mind.
Anger was even shorter-lived than confusion and gave way to
the killer emotion, the one that plagues me day in and day out: DOUBT
You might think doubt is not an emotion, but live a day in
any mother’s shoes, and you will “get it.”
It’s that sick feeling that bubbles up when you wonder if you’re doing
the right thing. It’s the dread that
comes over you when you compare yourself to what the other person
(photographer, mom, pinterest-craft-completer) is doing. I question my abilities as a photographer,
wife, and mother every day. I’m hard
enough on myself…how dare YOU make me question myself even for a second? Ohhh, there came ANGER again, as my daughter
gave me that tilted-head-confused-puppy-look.
At the end of the few seconds that these emotions swept over
me, I suddenly felt COMPASSION
It must be a hurting person who would single out and
verbally lash a relatively quiet, mind-my-own-business, live and let live
person, such as myself. My Senior
Portrait ad must have struck a chord in someone who was maybe already having a
rough day, week, year, life…so much so that you would feel compelled to not
only write that response, but to also click send, not even knowing if the
person on the other end was able to handle it.
Luckily, I am. I beg you, though,
to think before you do it again to someone else. Words can be lethal. You don’t know if that someone is barely
holding on…
At first, I felt compelled to list my credentials, training,
and years of references from satisfied customers. I didn’t.
I also thought about including those initial sailor-embarrassing
words. I didn’t. I wanted to ask you what your credentials
were to judge me. I didn’t. Instead, I
passive-aggressively thanked you for your kind words, told you that I would inform my
professors of their negligence, and wished you a wonderful day.
I regret my response now. Even though I did not use those expletives, my sarcasm was heavy. I wish I had apologized for offending you and asked for any constructive criticism you must have for me. I wish that I had offered an ear if you needed to get anything off your chest. I wish that I had chosen to be a "bigger" person. I wish I had chosen kindness.
Thank you again, for reinforcing the general idea I have
that if we just choose to be kind, the world would be a much better place.
Let’s stop doubting/comparing/tearing-down ourselves and one another. Instead, offer that “I’ve been there,” glance
to the mom trying to wrangle her kids into the shopping cart. Lend a sympathetic hand to the morbidly obese
man struggling to reach his groceries.
Give the gift of patience to the lone postal worker behind the counter
with the mile-long line of customers waiting for them. You have a choice. Choose kindness
Sincerely,
Jenna
